Amazing Spark City News
This is not the amazing news I promised.
However, did you know you can prebook Spark City Book 4 The Actions of Gods?!! I have been informed by those in the upper echelons that I have not done enough to promote the Actions of Gods on Prebook (which can be prebooked right here by the way.)
So without further ado, let me introduce the prebook of The Actions of Gods right here.
(They told me I should get more engagements and get you to click into my links, or some corporate shit. I don’t know why. I think it’ll make me more money so I said I’d try my best. Or my worst. Whichever really. Strange how all too often both are eerily similar when it's me going to task. I also told them I was going on holiday after I hit send, so if they wanted to give me feedback or get me to redo any of this post we’d miss this month’s email. Right now, as I type this and watch the word count creep higher and higher, I have no idea if this is going out or not. Oooh, exciting. The fools said this was an incredibly important email to go out so I think I have all the power.)
It’ll shut them up.
Right. let’s start this email properly.
Greetings from my cage, my wonderful sycophants!!!!
I have some wonderful news.
Exciting news. One might say Book News of the Year type of the news. But that news can wait until you prebook Actions of the Gods. Right here.
Seriously, this email will be so much more enjoyable when you prebook it, here. Because then you will have a copy waiting for you which……….might have something to do with this amazing announcement coming up that is most definitely not going to be me trolling you.
(Right Fuken here.)
Am I trolling though?
Now, that’s an interesting question and there are many answers.
How about, I could be.
I’ve been to known to troll my wonderful, beautiful, delicious fans with amazing news… and then be like “I got a new pair of boots, check out my Instagram to see them for yourself. You’ll never guess what happened!!!!!! And while you are at it. Smash the like button and don’t forget to subscribe.” (Ugh- that joke just turned my stomach. I’ll never be that guy. Also here’s a link to my Instagram that I never use.)
So, I could be trolling.
Or maybe I’m not trolling at all, I could be making you read this entire message just because you like to skim and a pox upon skimmers. You shouldn’t skim. You really, really shouldn’t skim. There’s a massive bit of news about Spark City book 4 The Actions of Gods (that you can prebook here) coming up. Like really important. And you could just skim on past. You probably won’t. But you might. And then you’ll have missed it and be like “Shit, what was he nattering about?” and then you’ll have to go back through it properly. But then it will be worth it.
TRUST ME IT WILL BE WORTH IT.
Then again, I might have no news whatsoever.
Apart from linking to prebook right here.
That’s kind of news isn’t it?
I’d imagine there’s a full blurb and a stunning picture of somewhat familiar characters standing in front of a somewhat familiar city with a new colour theme for said book once you click right here.... right? Who would insist on linking to a page without these details?
I mean, it isn’t like I haven’t done this exact same joke before. Loads of links to some stupid different page. I think it was book covers. Or Pictures of my cat. Or Fuken something.
I can assure you. My exciting amazing news is none of those things.
Click right here for a stupid picture of my stupid cat.
Also, have you guys dropped some honest reviews on my books recently? That would balance the amazing Spark City news coming up.
But not before I do a little begging.
OBLIGATORY BEGGING FOR REVIEWS INCOMING!
I can not tell you how important reviews are for any author. When we get a review, it helps other like minded readers to find a book they like or something. It’s actually important most of the time, but really, today, I’m just filling in words here because as soon as the skimmers read that I was on about reviews, they dashed on by and will soon learn, but not as quickly as you in-depth readers, that I have indeed finished The Actions of Gods and it is currently away with my editors as we speak. Now, don’t worry, they’ll find out soon enough. Now, back to the ruse. Please please please, if you haven’t written a review, take a moment, make my day, and put some ratings and and reviews down on my books. I LOVE REVIEWS SO MUCH I SHOUT IT OUT LOUD!!!!! And continue on with the charade that me and at least 5% of you are in on.
REVIEWS ARE DELICIOUS YUMMY!!!!!!!
Review here, or something.
Now about my news.
It’s very good news.
I have been working on Spark City book 4 The Actions of Gods pretty much since Outcasts came out. It is a monster. And if you keen eyed social media followers might have noticed, I posted a little while back that I’d done something impressive. After various rewrites, and the agonizing process of reading through it……..because it's long. 7 days worth of reading long. But each day is beauty incarnate in itself.
I can finally announce that...
You can Prebook The Actions of Gods…It’s finished.
Spark City book 4 The Actions of Gods is fuken finished.
It’s away with my editors.
It’s coming this year.
It’s going to blow you fukers away.
Alpha team, prepare yourselves.
The rest of you, super prepare yourselves.
Right, I’m off to take a holiday for a month.
I have a steam deck to play and Stardew Valley just itching to get going.
I love you all.
Thank you for your patience, for your support, for your money, for your very strange requests involving my body hair, and your love.
Today I am worth it.
Take care of yourselves, and each other.
Aka Zim Zam
Ps. For the love of fuk will you just prebook it because we all know I’ll forget to tell anyone when it is out.