Greetings from my cage!
Well, this year is turning out to be a right fuken kick in the teeth.
We’re all a little freaked and obsessed with news right now. I haven’t even received my usual target of “Write the fuken book" abuse these last few days.
Don’t want to preach but where anyway possible, stay the fuk inside. Just seriously, stay the fuk inside. Social distance when not, and you will do your part to save those who looked after us first. It’s our turn. Seeing as I am preaching… go for walks and wash your hands and avoid the urge to wipe your bits all over innocent strangers. They don’t like it normally, they’ll like it even less now. If the police told me to stop doing it, I’m not having any of you do it either.
UPDATES FOR DAYS!
So, remember I said Spark City audio book was out last week and then last week happened and nothing happened. That was hilarious. There was a glitch. The glitch was that it was something with my name involved. Let’s be honest, I’m not exactly known for hitting deadlines and release dates. Why should this be any different?
It's out today! For reals this time. Anyway, what a perfect way to distract us from irrational thoughts that this is the apocalypse, than listening to the dulcet tones of my total man crush Euan Morton. He’s so awesome. I’ve listened through the performance and he just made it his own. It is freaking amazing.
MARCH OF MAGNUS UPDATE
With the covid-19 putting many parts of the worlds into lockdown, I will try to throw a little silver on the lining. I passed the 100,000 word count last night and kept going. I’m well beyond halfway. All it took was a world pandemic to finally get me bothered. Honestly, for what it’s worth, I feel if I can bring any joy to you it is getting this done. Also, I can't seem to order any new desks, so I’m stuck with what I have. Who knew buying furniture would take up so much of my time?
THE SEVEN ON OFFER
“The Seven: The Lost Tale of Dellerin” is on offer for a couple days. 99 fuken cent. That's all. This is a different world to Spark City and is filled with dark enchaments, demons and anti-heroes. If you haven't checked it out, buy it. In fact, buy multiple copies.
FREE SHORT TALE
I want to give you a free short tale; Conor and the Banshee. Right, don’t freak, I wrote this a couple years ago. It's not interfered with any March of Magnus rewrites at all.
A quick introduction. I’m Irish, therefore I must always believe in the Banshee. It’s a thing in rural Ireland. If any native Irish person tells you any differently; they’re lying. Wash your hands at them. You find me any person who would stand all alone in a forest and call for a banshee in the middle of the night and I’ll show you a liar. Until they show up dead from banshee bites. That’s not actually a thing. Seriously, even though rationale tells me differently, if I see a black comb lying innocently on the road it scares the ever living shit out of me. DON’T EVER PICK UP A BLACK COMB ON THE ROAD. Anyway, the Banshee has both terrified me as a child and intrigued me as an adult. Sadly, I believe the true nature of a Banshee has been lost in modern culture, in games, in movies, etc. I hope this tale gives a more accurate representation of what my ancestors used to experience when sitting around open fires in the dead of night as they told tales, scaring the ever living shit out of each other.
I’ve always adored Irish tales and their strange style of writing. Here it is and I hope you enjoy. For the best effect, read it at night over candlelight and listen for movement on the roof above. Right, I’ve suitably unnerved myself for the moment. I’m getting back into the cage and grinding out this sequel.
Stay safe, my beautiful sycophants,
Rob