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Secret Projects, Runaway Cows and Actions of Gods Updates

Greetings from my cage, my wonderful sycophants!!!

How are you all? Yep, I forgot to message you last month, didn’t I? In my defence, I am lazy. There, I said it, it's out there for all to see. Some of you might be aware of this.

Right, first off, Actions of Gods update- we were hoping to release late this year but alas, its looking more and more likely to be early next year.

Its not my fault!!!!!!!!!

Actually, it is completely my fault.

It is still with the editors. My, poor poor editors. I think I’ve taken away their will to live with my ramblings. Absent gods bless them, but somehow they are piecing together what dumpster fire lines of literature I’ve managed to get onto the page, and made it somewhat coherent. As I read over their workings and am reminded why they are far smarter than me, I can’t help but feel it's really them that are writing the book.


It’s on them.

All on them.

So if you hate the book- it’s all their fault. Absolutely. Look at them, all word smith and shit over there. Correcting my art. I DON’T FUKEN CARE IF IT IS “BEEN” “BEING” OR “BIN.”

Ugh, even that hurt my head.

Anyway, anything you hate in book 4- their fault.

Got it?


However, when you all wonderful people decide it IS the greatest book of all time?

It was me. All me. Nobody else.

Fuk the editors.

Ah I jest- they have kicked my ass and so far it is looking, and hopefully reading, like silken deliciousness.

I think what I mean to say is, things are motoring along rather nicely, and February feels like an awesome type of month.

Ooh, so, what have I bin doing the last while as I wait for the edits for the greatest book of all time to come in?


That’s what I’ve be in doing. I’m not far into it. It was a story that was in my mind for quite a time that needed to be told. So long. A few years in fact.

And though I am finished with the Spark City cycle, and looking to faraway fields, I can guarantee you that this is most definitely not a Dellerin project.

Once this super secret project is completed, I WILL be returning to Dellerin immediately. That series needs a little love. For those few people that have fallen for those books and ask of the next steps, I can guarantee you that there will be another Crimson Hunters novel. Aw hell yeah! I fuken love those guys. And theirs is a tale that needs to be told.

Back to my secret project. It is something I know every single one of you fuks are going to love. And hopefully buy. Seven times over.

Though I might give it away for free.

Or else charge an exorbitant price.

Who knows. I might give up on it.

It’s not the first time I’ve had a crack at writing this thing.

Its like 1/5th done.

But I haven’t actually put much work into it.

And what I have done-will shred the last nerves of my editors.

I’m hoping it will be the length of…. The Seven. Give or take. If it makes it to the length of Spark 1- well fuk yeah. That’s some stretching of a wafer-thin plot right there.

Right, I have rambled enough that most of you will have wandered off now, happy in the knowledge that The Actions of Gods will be in their hands in less than 4 months.

I think that’s right.

Ask Rob Anything

They've asked me three times to do this and every time I’m like “NO, Fuk off, that’s stupid and I’m not going to answer any questions the fans have. Not even if they are good ones.”

“But Rob, they’ll buy more of your books if you put yourself out there”

“You son of a bitch, I’m in!!!!!!” I’m a recluse at heart. But one of these days I’m going to have to climb out of my cage and face the masses. May as well start it with the people I like the most. Those who buy my books. I really love that you guys do that.

So go on you mad fuks, send me an email, or DM, or a facebook, or whatever else, with any burning questions you have for me. The email is, and I'll answer one each month in this blog.

So, here I go, in real time, reading through the sample questions They sent out to me...


“How about the future of The Spark City world?”- Haven’t a clue, I’m winging it but it looks done.

Or else.

“Just why do I write?”- For money.

And there’s this one.

“Who are my favourite authors?" - Easy, me.

Still suggesting.

“Favourite movie?” Oh, that’s also easy. The Erotic tales of Erroh the plumber in Spark City. (Though I’ve only seen a preview copy.)

These aren’t even the worst.

“Favourite Taylor swift song?" (Really guys???) The answer is fuken none (But shake it off is a banger.)

They are so many more suggestions. I don’t think they trusted that I knew what they meant by questions. Or else they wanted to ensure I couldn’t twist it to my nefarious deeds

And now, to finish off with a little titbit of the life according to Rob.

Last Tuesday morning I let the dogs out in the garden and my ring doorbell suddenly told me there was a package at the door on the other side of the house. It wasn’t a package. It was a herd of runaway dairy cows that broke through our gate and scared the ever living shit out of me and my city dogs.

Fifty cows charging you with merry faces of freedom is a truly humbling experience.

My dogs thought so too.

Anyway, the farmers chasing them were lovely and very apologetic and it was a nice anecdote for living in the country and introducing ourselves to the neighbours.

However, they ruined an acre and a half of grass we just spent all summer and half our fuken savings getting landscaped and prepared for planting of trees and shrubs and all that garden shit.

I would like you all to buy more books so I can plant more trees in the deep clefts the fukers left in the ground.

Anyway, I miss the sheep and their smell.

And I love you all.

Take care of yourselves and each other.



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