Fuk fuk fukkity fuk fuk!!!!
I mean, greetings from my cage, my wonderful sycophants.
It is here. The book of all books. Finally. Done. Ready. Released.
“ABOUT FUKEN TIME, ROB!!!!” I hear you say.
Yeah, well, fuk off.
It’s a long book.
I’ve received a few requests for launch date for audiobook. I believe it is slated for a January 5th release, and will be available to pre-order soon. So not too long at all until we hear Euan’s dulcet tones bring the legend Magnus to life. It’ll be awesome.
So, by the time you are reading this I’ll already be in a barrel of Jack Daniels, blissfully numbing the overwhelming panic which takes me every new release day. This one though is a long time coming. Thank you all for the support. You’ll never know how much every review helps and how your amazing messages just keep me going in my little cage.
The messages of kind support and gentle suggestion to “hurry the fuk up” I received throughout this time were incredible. I’m stronger and more humbled for it and I’ve tried desperately to reply as many of you as I can. If I haven’t - its because I hate you. Or more likely that I was just bogged down in rewrites and it slipped through the inbox. And I am so so sorry for that. Tell you what. Buy my entire back catalogue. Leave reviews for them all. Let me know. I’ll reply with the words “Thanks.” I think that’s fair. Seriously though, for every time you guys took a moment to contact me, I am so grateful. You made my day.
Right, enough of this. I’m taking today off. I’m going to play Fallout 4, eat some crisp sandwiches and maybe watch amazon for reviews reassuring me that I’ve made the right life choices.
“But Rob, what’s a crisp sandwich? Why will it help your hangover day?”
Time for the drama.
I’m gonna go ahead and say this is not a UK delicacy, this is an Irish delicacy.
That’s it. Dropped the mic. It’s on!
The reason I know this is that a true crisp sandwich can only EVER be made with TAYTO cheese and onion crisps. At worst, we nailed the recipe. So therefore, its ours now. (Side note – any muppet who insists upon King crisps is an idiot and I hate them. They’re grand crisps, but not in a crisp sandwich). For the Americans on the list with a glazed-over look in your eyes, I'm nattering on about a sandwich made out of potato chips.
THE PERFECT CRISP (CHIP) SANDWICH
Ingredients
Tayto cheese and onion crisps.
Brennan’s sliced pan bread.
Kerrygold butter/ Flora.
Method
Get your white bread (I normally only eat homemade brown bread as a rule but you have to take the hit for food of the absent gods.) Lather with kerrygold butter (flora if you are so inclined). Add the delicious and perfect Tayto Crisps and not stupid King Crisps. Mush in a delicious crunch and devour. Perfect.
I’ve spent twenty mins writing this nonsense, which nobody will read cause they're busy reading Magnus instead, and that 6 pack of Taytos is looking tempting...
But, for those very few still reading. Please, go buy my book. Get lost in that universe for a while. Put up an honest review after. Shout to the world that Magnus is Marching.
Be safe guys, look after each other.
Buy my book.
Don’t ask for a refund.
Cheers.
Rob.